


Well This Is Awkward

by OnceUponACaskett



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, guest starring villanelle's wife
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:13:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24669691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnceUponACaskett/pseuds/OnceUponACaskett
Summary: Glancing at Villanelle, Eve was startled to find her normally unflappable girlfriend looked like a deer caught in the headlights.“It is you, isn’t it?”“Maria…hi,” Villanelle said awkwardly. “How are you?”ORThe one where Eve finds out Villanelle got married
Relationships: Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Comments: 9
Kudos: 292





	Well This Is Awkward

**Author's Note:**

> I really really hope that Eve finds out Villanelle got married at some point in season 4 because that has the potential for some seriously hilarious scenes and some jealous!Eve. So this is just my own take on it. Hope you guys like it!

“Eve you _have_ to let me buy you this!”

Eve rolled her eyes in amusement. They had been in this small boutique for less than twenty minutes and yet Villanelle had already found nearly a dozen articles of clothing for them to try on.

“Absolutely not. You’ve already bought me way too much stuff. There’s no way we’re gonna be able to fit it all in our bags when we go home!”

“But Eve,” Villanelle pouted, “what’s the point of being on vacation if you don’t buy anything to take home?”

“I never said ‘don’t buy _any_ thing,’ I just said don’t buy me _every_ thing.” She eyed the white and floral-patterned sundress that Villanelle was still holding. “Besides, I could never pull that off.”

A frown crossed Villanelle’s face. “Of course you could. You’d look amazing in it.”

Eve shook her head. “Do you see how low that neckline is? Uh uh, no way my tits are big enough for it.”

Villanelle glanced down at Eve’s chest. “Well I think your tits would look great in this.”

“You think my tits look great in anything.”

Villanelle smiled mischievously and took a step forward, her arm wrapping around Eve’s waist to pull their bodies flush together. “They looked especially good in that lacy little number you wore last night.”

Eve felt her cheeks heat up as the memories washed over her. On her way home one night back in London, she’d passed a lingerie store. Acting on impulse, she’d stopped in and bought something to surprise her girlfriend with while they were on a much-needed vacation in Valencia.

Villanelle’s eyes had nearly dropped right out of their sockets when she saw Eve step out of the bathroom wearing a black and red lace bustier with a garter belt attached. And if the pleasantly soreness that ached between Eve’s legs said anything, it was that Villanelle had more than made her appreciation for the outfit very, very clear.

Eve cleared her throat and said, “Regardless, you’re not buying me that dress.”

“Ugh, you’re impossible!” Villanelle threw her hands up in the air.

“Oh _I’m_ impossible?” she laughed.

“Yes, you are. You deserve beautiful clothes and beautiful shoes and—” suddenly she stopped, her back straightening.

Confused by her sudden change in mood, Eve put a hand on her arm, brow furrowing as she felt the tension radiating off of her. “Are you okay?”

Villanelle tossed the dress carelessly back on the rack and grabbed Eve’s hand as she made a dash for the exit. “We have to go.”

“Why, what’s going on?” Eve’s eyes darted all around them, scanning the area for whatever threat Villanelle may have picked up on.

“It’s nothing. We just have to—”

“Lara?”

Villanelle stopped in her tracks and grimaced. “Fuck,” she swore to herself.

Coming towards them was a nicely dressed woman who looked to be in her late 20s or maybe her early 30s. Her dark hair was swept up in an elegant bun and Eve couldn’t help but admire the massive earrings dangling off each lobe. She could tell they were expensive too. Her nose was a little too big for her petite face, but other than that, she was fairly gorgeous.

Glancing at Villanelle, Eve was startled to find her normally unflappable girlfriend looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

“It is you, isn’t it?”

“Maria…hi,” Villanelle said awkwardly. “How are you?”

Before anyone knew what was happening, Villanelle’s head snapped to the right as a resounding _SLAP_ echoed throughout the store. The woman dug around in her purse and produced a diamond ring. She threw it at Villanelle’s feet and stormed off without another word.

All was quiet for a moment and then…

“I think I deserved that.”

Still stunned from what had just transpired, Eve looked at her, mouth gaping in shock. “What the _hell_ was that?”

“That,” Villanelle said, “was my wife.”

“I’m sorry…your _what_?!”

Villanelle winced as she rubbed her cheek. While it certainly wasn’t the worse injury she’d ever received, Maria’s slap still stung like crazy.

She bent down to pick up the ring and put it in her pocket, figuring she might as well keep it and sell it. “Well I suppose she’s more of my ex-wife now.”

“Wait, you got married?!”

“Yes, Eve, keep up.”

Eve flicked her on her ear in retaliation.

“Ouch! Why are so many women intent on hurting me today?” Villanelle asked indignantly.

“Well don’t be such an ass. Now what do you mean your wife—or ex-wife, rather. When did you get married?”

“It was a long time ago.”

Eve raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? How long?”

“…After Rome.”

“After-excuse me?! Rome?”

At that, she at least had the nerve to look sheepish. “It didn’t mean anything. I swear! And besides I used a fake name so technically _I’m_ not married. Lara Sokolova on the other hand.”

“God, I can’t believe you.”

Villanelle studied Eve’s face, noting how her lips were pursed and her eyes were narrowed. She smiled. “You’re cute when you’re jealous.”

Eve’s jaw dropped. “I’m _not_ jealous,” she vehemently denied.

Villanelle snorted at the blatant lie. Grabbing Eve’s hand, she pulled her in for a kiss and slowly felt Eve’s anger fade as she melted into her.

She meant what she’d said. Her marriage to Maria had meant nothing to her. She had used her merely as a way to distract herself from thinking about Eve. From thinking about how she had shot her and left her for dead.

It was never going to be a real marriage and Villanelle had never intended to stay that long. The minute she got bored, she’d leave and find something new—just like she always did.

But she’d never do that to Eve. She’d never get bored and she’d never tired of her. Eve was hers for life just as she was Eve’s. And she didn’t need a wedding or some stupid piece of paper for her to know that.

However, when they pulled back from the kiss, Villanelle couldn’t resist getting in the last word. “Now you know how I felt all this time when you were married to Mustache Man.”

She laughed as she quickly side-stepped the half-hearted swat Eve sent her way.


End file.
